Why Have a Coach?

I'm an expert to answer the question of "Why Have a Coach?" I have had various coaches for nearly all of my thirty years as a CEO. And, I have one now. I wouldn't be without a Coach.

Why? Because in my long and varied career, I have made a lot of good decisions and a lot of bad decisions. The bad decisions were usually made on my own, without running them by a neutral, trusted, bright and capable "hired ear." In my relatively new career as an Executive Coach (www.CoachJudyNelson.com), I am paid to listen to executives who are highly successful but clearly aware that they can't be objective about their own ideas amd thoughts. I am there to listen, to observe, to give feedback when invited, and to ask key questions that will enable the executive to think out loud, consider the barriers and options and to come to a rational and reasoned decision.

If you're an executive searching for a trusted ear, I'm available! Visit my website, www.CoachJudyNelson.com or call me at 877.yesJudy (877.937-5839.)

"Stop Apologizing and Start Sweating!"

It was my turn to serve again. I threw the ball up in the air, swung and missed. Again.

"I'm so sorry," I said. Again.

My opponent rolled her eyes, walked towards the net and waved me over. "Stop apologizing and start sweating!" she said in a shriller than usual voice.

"You never apologize in tennis. But you do run your butt off, and you have to sweat!" She handed me the ball and stomped back to her place on the court.

At first I was angry. What right did she have to talk to me like that? Then, I was embarrassed. And then...well, I guess I was energized. I ran back to the service line, threw the ball high up in the air and made a not-too-bad legal serve. She hit it back--out of bounds.

That was many years ago but I've never forgotten the lesson. If you're going to be treated as competent, you have to act like you are competent. The lesson applies to everything in life, but especially to leaders.

In my executive coaching practice (http://www.coachjudynelson.com/) I encounter this issue with a large number of my clients. For some, the issue is relatively minor. For others, they "wear their feelings [of inadequacy] on their sleeve."

What is the impact of coworkers and direct report of a manager who is constantly apologizing? What about the manager who actually tells people that she/he feels insecure? Think about a speaker who came to the podium and opened with, "I'm so nervous I can't think straight," or "I apologize for not being as prepared as I would have liked..." etc? The result? Disaster! No one will perceive that person as an expert.

Many of the trainings I do (www.coachjudynelson.com/seminars) involve the way that executive team members relate to each other. Often, the most de-energizing person is the one with low self esteem who virtually (or actually!) announces it. She may be constantly looking for reassurance. Co-workers then feel compelled to reassure, sometimes ad nauseum. Relating to such an individual becomes strained and is something to be avoided. Such a situation doesn't do much for building a team or for enhancing team collaboration and effectiveness.

"Fake it until you make it," is a familiar quote when discussing this kind of situation. But what does it take for the insecure individual to a. believe that? and b. summon up the courage to "act as if...?

One of the ways individuals can make this quantum leap, i.e., to act as if they feel confident, is to utilize the services of an executive coach. In a totally confidential and supportive environment, a coach can be the perfect partner to help a less-than-totally secure manager take the necessary steps to change other's perceptions about him.

In my 30 years as a CEO of different organizations in various parts of the county, I learned a lot about my building my own confidence and how to assist others to develop theirs.

If you're interested in learning more about executive coaching or management-relationship training from a seasoned pro, visit my website, http://www.coachjudynelson.com/.

Judy Nelson, JD, MSW
Certified Professional Coach
http://www.coachjudynelson.com/
Judy@CoachJudyNelson.com
877-yesJudy (877-937-5839)